have you had your Kool-aide yet?
This is only a test. This is not a real emergency.
This is a monotonous test of the emergency response notification system. In the event of a real emergency, all persons, their peeps, the peeps of their peeps and the peeps of those peeps and their peeps will be notified by email and phone messages as to the nature of the real emergency if one should occur. Since it is likely that by the time a real emergency occurs many persons, their peeps, the peeps of their peeps and the peeps of those peeps and their peeps in addition to their peeps as well will have become desensitized to this system by these tiresome tests, it is also likely then that a good number of them will then also very likely perish so it would be a good idea to say goodbye now before a real emergency happens; which don’t kid yourselves, it could. And that’s too bad because the purpose of this system is to prevent those needless injuries and or deaths from happening in the first place should an emergency occur; but oh well it’s not like we didn’t try to warn you, i.e. this warning. Be aware that; at that time, i.e. should a real emergency occur instructions will be given as to the instructions of what if any actions you should take if you still can or want to? Since today’s notice is only a test of the test system it is likely that no one is likely to be either, injured or die; although someone’s feelings may get hurt; and so a test will be given later as to the materials contained in this: the non-emergency test of the not real emergency response test system system. The grade scale is as follows: A = 91 to 100, B = 81 to 90, C = 71 to 80 and if you can’t get at least a C then you’re probably not worth saving anyway, sorry but it’s probably true. Again: Today’s message is not an emergency. It is a test of the emergency response notification system. Thank you for your compliance.
- Emergency Response Handbook (getcontinuity.wordpress.com)